approaching girls SHY NO MORE
Have you ever wanted to start a conversation by approaching girls you find attractive on the street? Or just wanted to be friendly with the random person on the elevator. How about the people working at a favorite lunchtime haunt or a store you frequent often. What stops you? Well obviously…what do you say? Beyond the trivial weather, news, sports topics which are as decidedly dull and uninspiring as talking about the piece of gum stuck to your shoe, in fact that could be even more exciting. Where has this hitchhiking gum gone, where will it go next, ever wish you could just allow life to whisk you away.
Yet aren’t there a thousand different details that are taking place around you right now. Maybe you’re holding an awesome cup of coffee with just the right mix of coffee, dairy and sweetness. Perhaps you’re wearing a favorite shirt or jacket and it fits just right and has the little details that make it perfect. You might be in an elevator and are imagining what it might be like to live in Tokyo in an apartment not much bigger. Could you have been looking up that dream vacation last night, or gone out partying and had an entertaining story. Never assume that the person next to you will be uninterested in something you have to say. The funny thing is we have been taught from a young age to not be self involved, to listen to what other people are saying and try and find commonalities. But its this same basic social principal that allows you to get away with talking about anything when approaching girls or guys.
Kepp in mind though, there’s a fine line between friendly and creepy. The trick here is assumed rapport. By believing everyone is your friend, everyone will be your friend. That means when you are talking to someone you don’t know, act as if they are a friend or acquaintance you already know. That’s not to say you should throw your arm around them and gloss whimsical in their ears when approaching girls or guys. Lets say you were walking down the hall of your workplace and you passed someone you worked with, would you preface your statements with ‘excuse me’ or ‘hate to bother you’ or would you simply make a statement and expect a response.
Taking the lead is critical here, and being self-involved is the mindset you need. People in general are looking to be led. Have you ever been waiting by a cross-light and decided to walk a second before the walk sign came on? I am sure you noticed that a lot of people followed your lead without even looking at the lights to ensure they were safe. In this day and age of information overload, people want to limit thinking and following someone who seems to be sure of themselves is an easy way to avoid straining your already overloaded brain.
I have found the best approach for strangers is to comment on an unusual item they may have on them. If there’s nothing out of the ordinary being self-involved is your best bet. For instance at a traffic light I have asked people why they think traffic lights are red/yellow/green. Or in elevators I like to talk about how cool it would be if elevators could move sideways. Talk about yourself, what you’re feeling, what you’re doing later, how you love sweet potato pie. The point here is to be cool and original, and comfortable! This comes with practice. If you seem uncomfortable the other person will be too, so use waitresses and service people to practice initially.
If you are looking for a primer on attraction and how to spark it when approaching girls or guys, look to Double Your Dating for guys and their sister company Catch Him and Keep Him for girls.
Use the 'kiss test' to know when she wants to be kissed...
