getting ex to callback How do I get my ex to return my calls, texts, emails, IMs
A problem that I’m sure many of you have encountered is how to get an ex to get back to you after you break up. Now while this may seem like an impossible task right after you break up it actually isn’t too bad once you know how to do it. I have actually used this technique many times to patch up a rocky relationship.
What NOT to do
NEVER send a message while you’re still angry, hurt, or otherwise in a negative mood or state. The first thing most people think when they are trying to get someone to get back to them is how desperately they want them to respond. Or perhaps the rage of emotions that they are going through and how they need to resolve them with their ex. These are completely the wrong things to be thinking as they make your message focused on being of a “PLEADING” or “EMERGENCY” nature.
For example imagine you received this message:
“Dave, please call me, I haven’t heard from you. I NEED to talk to you, this is the 3rd time I am calling”
Or
Jan>Where are you TOM??!?!
Jan>This is an emergency, why are you being such a jerk?
Jan>Tom
Jan>TOM!!
See how neither of these messages makes the other person what to respond? If you got these messages would you honestly respond to them?
What TO do
In order to make the other person respond to you, you have to use some powerful but simple psychological principles:
Curiosity and Self-Interest
These are two of the most powerful forces in the human mind, and the secret is when combined they make a cocktail that is irresistible to deny and will work like ‘magic’.
So let’s take an example of an approach that will work 99.9999999% of the time:
In a friendly tone:
“Hi Steve, its Cindy. I wanted to thank you for what you did for me. I really appreciate it and I want to tell you in person. Call me back when you can.”
Now why do you think this works. Well for one, its very positive it gives the person a good feeling and makes them want to respond. And since they have a pleasant feeling they expect a pleasant conversation hence playing to their self-interest and making them want to respond.
Sidenote: The other interesting thing to note here is that memories are activated by emotions, so what you’re feeling dictates what you will remember. That’s why when you’re sad you only think of sad memories, and when happy only happy, etc. This is why this is such a powerful technique as it makes the other person remember all the happy times you had together. I’m assuming you guys had happy times, right?
So the other principle this message touches on is curiosity. Not only will the person feel happy they will be curious: Hmmm…what did I do for them? Why do they want to thank me? They won’t be able to resist!!
Now once they do call back you should have something ready which you can use to explain what they did. It can be any small thing, but it should be plausible.
So you’re probably saying, great, this is awesome, bang on, this will actually work…..but than what? Good question. Keep in mind that I came up with this technique and a lot more by reading the Magic of Making Up guide. While we may have answered the original question: How to get your ex to call you? It doesn’t answer what to do afterwards. You need an underlying strategy going forward or you may do more damage than good to your relationship. I always suggest educating yourself and this is a good start. The guide I mentioned is great and you should check it out. Also see my review here.
SEX? When you should have sex during the reconciliation process.
