how to on confidence WHY BEING GOOD LOOKING IS OVERRATED…
Have you ever wanted to approach someone (read – a girl) and felt scared or uncomfortable and you couldn’t figure out why? Have you ever wanted to be able to be confident and have confidence in any situation no matter how new or awkward? Do you feel that not having confidence is undermining any success you have in life?
To begin with lets talk about why you feel that uncomfortable feeling. Well your brain has been shaped over the centuries by your ancestors and the experiences they had according to evolutionary theory. That means that you are conditioned to feel uncomfortable when you do anything that would cause you to be ostracized or otherwise not get acceptance from society. Human beings are social animals and your subconscious will stop at nothing to protect you from being separated from society. Why? Because human beings can’t survive without social interaction. For proof, see anyone who has been put in solitary, deserted on an island, etc. Usually you start to see these people lose their minds as their brains can’t take the lack of stimulation.
So your brain is programmed to stop you from doing anything that may harm you. Why would approaching a new girl for instance harm you? It doesn’t quite seem logical, wouldn’t it be a good thing to meet someone and possibly start a romantic relationship. What’s the downside? Well nowadays that’s true, but back in the caveman days if you were to hit on the leader of the packs girl you would get a club or rock to the head. Now this may seem funny, but our brains have been trained by this to have that uncomfortable feeling in our stomach. That feeling that makes us sick and disables us from being confident in our approach.
So how do we fix it? I would pay my weight in gold to know that. To be honest it never goes away, you can approach thousands of girls and still not get rid of it. But what I can say is that you can learn to overcome it and understand it. Once you understand it, it no longer becomes that monster under the bed. Once its out in the open you can actively work to be confident and build confidence to shrink it to the point that it becomes an afterthought.
So how do we build confidence? Well that’s the million dollar question. There’s no surefire, magic pill way. I wish there was, I wish I could tell you just do this and it will all work out. What I can give you is a plan, a strategy for working towards this and seeing actual results. Just like working out, you can train your social muscle and build it, thereby expanding your self confidence. What I would recommend is education. Once you understand the principles behind what you are trying to do it no longer becomes insurmountable. I would start with a product that explains attraction using evolutionary theory so that you are armed with the knowledge of what works. Try Double Your Dating for a step by step explanation of attraction and how it works.
Than come back to my site and read some of the other ‘how to’ articles for guide on how to take action, the second and unfortunately not implemented part of the education. I could write a ton of posts on theory, but I chose to write on techniques to take action as I felt that’s where the gap was. But you need to understand the theory too. David Deangelo’s Double Your Dating program is as good as anything I could write, and offers a free newsletter and trial which is jam packed with knowledge, tips, and tricks. You have no excuse not to check it out and figure out how to be confident and build confidence.
Use the 'kiss test' to know when she wants to be kissed...
